It seems like wherever I go these days, I will invariably hear one of my friends, guy or girl, complain that he/she got “friendzoned” by someone they like.
“I really like her man!” One of my friends once told me. “But she friendzoned me because I’ve been too nice to her, and now she’s dating some dude who’s treating her like crap!”
Those two statements right there are pretty much the template people use to complain about getting so-called “friendzoned”. Now, I’m not going to lie, I’ve been friendzoned before. But you know what, I don’t complain about it, and neither should anyone.
Why you ask?
Well, basically, there are two reasons people become friends, and this applies to both genders:
- I really want to get into his/her pants
- He/She seems like a nice person, I guess it wouldn’t hurt
Now, if you’re originally friends with the like for the first reason, first of all, shame on you bro, but secondly, then should you really complain about you failing in your courtship? A few years ago, I watched a Chris Rock show and he joked that every male starts a friendship with women with the express intention of sleeping with them, but somewhere along the way, they made the wrong turn and ended up being stuck in the apocryphal “friend zone”
He was joking, but for the most part, it was true. So therefore, you have no right to complain, because it’s your fault that you suck at courting her and ended up being mired in the friend zone, forever waiting for your chance in the wayside.
If you’re friends with her just because she’s nice, and that originally you held no such feelings for her…then that makes things a tad more complex. Technically you aren’t in the wrong, because you weren’t trying to court her, nor were you interested at first go, just that as your relationship progressed you ended up “falling in love with her.” Valid points, HOWEVER, it begs the question, “Why didn’t you like her in the first place?”
You might reply by saying that at the time, you were dating someone else, or that you didn’t know her well enough at the time to know that she had such a nice personality. I’d counter by saying that if you really liked her, it would’ve shone through regardless, and several months would have been more than sufficient to get to know her properly, assuming that you two spend enough time together. And several months are not enough to get a girl to friendzone you, in most cases. No, more likely than not, you were simply uninterested in her for a decently long amount of time, and by the time you realized that “Hey, this girl is awesome!”, you had already either friendzoned her previously and she got fed up of waiting, or she wasn’t that attractive, and you’re a shallow bastard.
So in conclusion, there is no legal reason for you to be complaining about ever getting friend zoned by a guy/girl. If anything, you should be complaining that you missed your chance to attack in the first place. Doesn’t mean everything is lost though…